Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Trending via Twitch:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Trending via Pinterest:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Making waves on Threads:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Live now on Pinterest:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Step aside, commoners! 💰 I am now $6 richer thanks to my elite scratch-off skills! 🤑 Bow down to the scratch-off royalty! 👑😂"

excitement, humor, i, last, lottery, money, night, peasants, scratch-off, win

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Making waves on Discord:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Trending via Facebook:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Keep the laugh going 😂

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨