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Commentary:
"If God had known about all the chaos, drama, and bad decisions we'd make, He might have considered issuing a 'no reproductivity' policy for Adam! 🙈💬 #HumansBeingHumans"

Adam, creation, God, humor, irony, mankind, religion, sterilization, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

3 months ago

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler
I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

3 months ago

am, crazy, fun, humor, i, just, normal, personality, sanity, self-awareness, time
When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

3 months ago

context, date, humor, i, rejection, relationship, right, silent, someone, want
UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

3 months ago

card, card game, game, genius, humor, i, luck, strategy, UNO, win, winning
Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

2 months ago

control, control freak, dark, dark humor, death, eulogy, freak, funny perspective, funny thought, humor, i, loved, ones, own, perspective, quirky, relatable, say, thinking, thought, thoughts, want, writing
The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

2 months ago

art, artist, concept, courtroom, courtroom drama, doodler, drama, humor, little, me, murder, sketch, sketch artist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

68 shares on Discord this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

70 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

10 shares on X this month:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Making waves on Telegram:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Making waves on X:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Just shared via Threads:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Just landed via Instagram:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Making waves on TikTok:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Live now on Messenger:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨