Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.
  • The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.
  • A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.
  • A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.
  • One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.
  • This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.