Commentary:
Trying to flirt? I'm more like an unripe avocado—awkwardly hard to handle but potentially delightful! 🥑😅
128 Funny sure quotes
If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.
Commentary:
Testing snake bites: the ultimate patience challenge! 🐍⏳😅
I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.
Commentary:
"Finally, a language where my awkward silence can be both seen and understood! 😂🤫🙃"
Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.
Commentary:
Guess I've been a trendsetter with my patented "Who Needs Lunch?" diet! 😅🥴🍽️
Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?
Commentary:
Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with my couch? 😂🛋️🍿
Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.
Commentary:
That moment when you're time traveling through eternity using either a microwave minute or someone else's phone theater 😂📱🍿
No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.
Commentary:
Sounds like Mercury is practicing its breakdancing moves again! 🪐💃😅
Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.
Commentary:
Sounds like our plans are getting a party upgrade! Too bad I'm switching to ghost mode 👻🎉
Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.
Commentary:
When I was 7, walking it off was considered a life-saving procedure 😂👍 #ResilienceSkills
Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.
Commentary:
When you drop a "bro" bomb to confirm the relationship status: friend mode activated 🚀👬😂