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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Broadcasted on X:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Going viral on Messenger:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Shared recently on Slack:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Seen just now on WeChat:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.
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Commentary:
"If your wife uses 'I,' she's preparing for action – perhaps remodeling the living room or organizing the pantry. But if she sweetly utters 'we,' it's time to lace up those work boots, my friend, because that to-do list just got a whole lot longer!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on X this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Just landed via Slack:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Going viral on Instagram:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Making waves on Threads:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

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