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Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
161 Funny marriage quotes
Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.
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Sounds like someone needs to update their definition app! 😂🕵️♀️🔍
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
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Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.
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Math homework and carpooling: unlocking the true potential of 'me time' 😂🔢🚗
My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”
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Looks like Linda is my new imaginary marriage counselor! 😂💍🤷♂️
70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.
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Is it really love if you don't have to use your best dolphin impression to scream "What?" across the house? 😂🔊🏠
I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.
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Counting the days until I can add "divorce party planner" to my resume! 😂💔🎉
My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.
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Sounds like your chairs are on an invisible workout program! 🪑💪✨
The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.
Commentary:
Well, that escalated quickly! 🏃♂️💍➡️🏃♂️📜
Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.
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Just imagine he suggests a couch without 37 decorative pillows 🛋️😱📌