Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,907

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Live now on Pinterest:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The future is buffering.

Just landed via Threads:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Trending via Twitch:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like bacon isn't the only thing getting crispy here! 🇺🇸🥓😄

America, bacon, food, humor, offended, offense, patriotism, states, united, United States

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

0

2 months ago

dog, give, give up, humor, i, knows, loyalty, much, never, pet, pet humor, too, too much
Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

0

2 months ago

aloud, awkward, awkward situation, book, flight, humor, i, just, middle, middle seat, over, reading, seat, seatmate, should, sitting, situation, start
What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

0

2 months ago

babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

0

1 month ago

absolutely, before, drama, humor, idea, me, mood, mood swing, period, relationship, sarcasm, swing, terrible, warning, week, woman
No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

0

1 month ago

birds, dinosaurs, evolution, humor, i, irony, nature, respect, turn
It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

0

2 months ago

always, cute, emotions, fire, house, humor, irony, mad, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

82 shares on X this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Spotted on Discord:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Live now on WeChat:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Trending via YouTube:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Seen just now on Twitch:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨