18 funny America quotes - Wordgag

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

May 30, 2026

There was a time when Marilyn Manson was the scariest concept in America.

May 29, 2026

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

May 29, 2026

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

May 29, 2026

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

May 29, 2026

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

May 29, 2026

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

May 28, 2026

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

May 26, 2026

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

May 25, 2026

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

May 24, 2026

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

May 23, 2026

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

May 23, 2026

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

May 22, 2026

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

May 22, 2026

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

May 21, 2026

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

May 21, 2026

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

May 21, 2026

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

May 21, 2026