Commentary:
Every time I scroll, I feel like I'm in a time machine heading back to the prehistoric era! 🦖📜
Funny offense quotes
No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.
Commentary:
When a fellow woman says you look fabulous, it feels like you just got a gold star from the universe 🌟💁♀️✨
If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.
Commentary:
Looks like bacon isn't the only thing getting crispy here! 🇺🇸🥓😄
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.
Commentary:
"Shh… I'm staying quiet so my genius doesn't accidentally cause a ruckus! 🤫🤪 #SilencedSmartypants"
I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.
Commentary:
🤣 "Sorry for the oversight! Next time, I'll send out a personalized 'offense' card to ensure nobody feels left out! 💌🙈"
Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.
Commentary:
How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!
It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!
Commentary:
"Thank goodness for small mercies! 📱🙊 I guess some things are best left unseen… and unsmelled! 😂 #NoSmelfiesPlease"
My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.
Commentary:
Looks like he couldn't handle the hard-hitting truth during the PowerPoint roast session! 🤭💼 Better luck next time trying to dodge self-awareness, hubby! 😜🖥️
To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm gonna need a New Year's resolution… for everyone else! 😂🎉