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Commentary:
"Who needs a doctor's office when you have power tools and paint? 🔨💪 DIY vasectomy, coming soon to a Home Depot near you! Just remember, measure twice, cut once… 😂 #DIYManhood"

depot, DIY, home, Home Depot, humor, joke, man, masculinity, real, surgery, vasectomy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

0

2 months ago

creativity, humor, inspiration, lazy, me, motivation, procrastination, time, waiting
I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

0

2 months ago

act, another, bee, date, give, heart, humor, i, never, relationship, trust, woman
You can’t spell disappointment without me.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, humor, irony, me, self-deprecation, spell, wordplay
The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

0

2 months ago

amusement, amusement park, circle, different, ferris, Ferris wheel, humor, inventor, man, merry-go-round, met, never, park, wheel, wordplay
Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

0

2 months ago

crazy, harry, Harry Potter, high, high school, i, never, potter, school, sort, war
God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

0

2 months ago

dating, God, humor, love, patience, relationship, soulmate, tracking, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

37 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

18 shares on Threads this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Trending via Pinterest:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Trending via YouTube:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Breaking via Pinterest:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Going viral on X:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Live now on Discord:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Live now on X:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Going viral on YouTube:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨