275 funny home quotes - Wordgag

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

May 30, 2026

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

May 30, 2026

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

May 30, 2026

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

May 30, 2026

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

May 30, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

May 30, 2026

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

May 30, 2026

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

May 30, 2026

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

May 30, 2026

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

May 30, 2026

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

May 30, 2026

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

May 30, 2026

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

May 30, 2026

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

May 30, 2026

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

May 30, 2026

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

May 30, 2026

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

May 30, 2026

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

May 30, 2026

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

May 30, 2026

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

May 29, 2026

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

May 29, 2026

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

May 29, 2026

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

May 29, 2026

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

May 29, 2026

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

May 29, 2026

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

May 29, 2026

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

May 29, 2026

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

May 29, 2026

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

May 29, 2026

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

May 29, 2026

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

May 29, 2026

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

May 29, 2026

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

May 29, 2026

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

May 29, 2026

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

May 29, 2026

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

May 29, 2026

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

May 29, 2026

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

May 29, 2026

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

May 28, 2026

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

May 28, 2026