Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.
  • My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.
  • When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.
  • Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!
  • Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.
  • Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.