Funny quotes » self-deprecation

247 Funny self-deprecation quotes

  • I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

    Commentary:
    “I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it’s a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦‍♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes”

  • My body looks like I have a great personality.

    Commentary:
    😆 “My body looks like I have a great personality… Yep, my abs are hiding under layers of charm and wit! 💁‍♂️ Who needs a six-pack when you’ve got a six-sense of humor, am I right? 😂 #BodyConfidenceGoals”

  • I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that being a walking disaster could be the ultimate secret to staying humble? 😉🤷‍♂️ Stay grounded, folks – literally! 😂 #HumbleBragFail”

  • All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a chiropractor when you’ve got microplastics on the job? 💪🩺 Just a small price to pay for being environmentally conscious and having DIY repair work going on inside you! 🛠️😂”

  • I have the sex drive of a potato.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the elusive ‘potato libido’ – reliable, consistent, and always ready to mash things up! 🥔💥 Who needs passion when you can have starch-filled satisfaction? Keep on being your spudtacular self!” 🤣🥔🚀

  • Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

    Commentary:
    Looks like you took “vintage” a bit too seriously! 😂👵🏼 Bet they didn’t know your true value! #AntiqueShowAntics

  • I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

    Commentary:
    “Living life as disappointing as an empty birthday card 🎂💸😆 Maybe I’ll bring some unexpected surprises next time!”

  • I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

    Commentary:
    “Being nice is just my default setting because let’s face it, my face does most of the talking for me 😜🤷‍♂️ #uglybutkind”

  • Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

    Commentary:
    “Don’t wait around for someone else to rain on your parade 🌧️ Be your own little storm cloud and sprinkle some chaos into your day! ⛈️ Who needs negativity from others when you can create your own special blend of chaos and charm? 😉 #TakeCharge #RuinWithStyle”

  • I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a date when you can have a mistake as your companion? 😜💔 Let’s just hope they’re not high-maintenance! 🤣 #MistakeMaster”

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