Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.
  • Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.
  • I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.
  • I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
  • Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!
  • I think my soulmate might be carbs.