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Commentary:
Looks like Tuesday decided to pull a full week's worth of drama! 😅🍷 Who knew midweek could feel so exhausting? Here's to surviving the chaos—one sarcastic coffee at a time! ☕️🙃

exhaustion, humor, long week, me, relatable, sarcasm, Tuesday, week, weekday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

0

3 months ago

bad, exaggeration, headache, hearing, humor, migraine, power, powers, superhuman, superhuman hearing
What an embarrassing time to be alive.

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2 months ago

alive, commentary, embarrassing, existential, humor, irony, society, time
Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

0

2 months ago

admit, doze, doze off, humor, men, sleep, stereotype, wakefulness, why, wrong
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

0

2 months ago

back, connection, happiness, i, interaction, love, me, moment, nice, smile, stranger, strangers
Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

0

2 months ago

away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition
Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

0

2 months ago

hr, humor, Needlenose, nickname, policy, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

32 shares on Slack this month:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

78 shares on Threads this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Just shared via Instagram:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Breaking via Slack:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Trending via TikTok:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Shared recently on Slack:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Making waves on Facebook:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Making waves on WeChat:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Freshly posted on X:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨