Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Going viral on Reddit:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Spotted on WeChat:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Just landed via Reddit:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

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It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.
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Commentary:
When your computer gives you everything except what you asked for 😂🖥️📁

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Telegram this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

17 shares on Discord this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

46 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

99 shares on X this month:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

43 shares on Messenger this month:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

62 shares on Discord this month:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Making waves on Twitch:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Making waves on YouTube:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Just shared via Discord:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Making waves on Facebook:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

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