Commentary:
I mean, with multitasking skills like that, you'd think he was Beethoven's rival! 🎹😂💧
63 Funny lie quotes
Amazon will tell you your package is coming in 7 days, then deliver it the next day. These are the only kind of lies I need in my life.
Commentary:
When getting ghosted leads to surprise gifts in the mail 😂📦
Adults having breakfast at a friend’s apartment before heading off to work is the biggest lie television ever told anyone.
Commentary:
"When I try breakfast at a friend's place, it turns into brunch-slash-my-new-job-hunt because we're both late 😅🥓⏰"
Forever in a rush to get home and do nothing but lie down.
Commentary:
Rushing home like I'm late for my appointment with the couch 🛋️⏰💨
There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.
Commentary:
Just make sure your "boss" doesn't accidentally mention how you used to entertain the whole "office" with karaoke Fridays! 🎤😂
I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.
Commentary:
Well, I guess we're getting dirty one way or another! 🌱😂🪴
Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.
Commentary:
Gray or grey, I'm just waiting for 'em to make up their mind so I can stop color-coding chaos 😂🎨🖍️
“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.
Commentary:
This is me every morning, and caffeine rewards me for being consistent 😂☕💤
Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.
Commentary:
Well, I guess political debates just got a whole lot spicier! 🍿🤨
Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.
Commentary:
Trying to play "smartly dumb," but my brain keeps giggling at the irony 🤓🙃🎭