I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Commentary:
“Who needs resolutions and commandments when you’ve got charm and wit? 😏 It’s all about living on the edge and breaking the rules with style! 😜🔥 #RebelWithACause”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old question: should you reveal your inner genius or just embrace your idiocy right from the start? 🤔 Maybe it’s best to sprinkle a little bit of both and let the surprise unfold naturally! After all, life is way more amusing when you can laugh at yourself! 🤪 #EmbraceTheIdiotWithin”

  • My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

    Commentary:
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  • They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

    Commentary:
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  • Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

    Commentary:
    Oh, Cinderella, sweetie, your standards were lower than her glass slipper size! 🙈 Talk about a prince who needs to get his memory checked! Maybe next time, Cinderella should swipe left on the forgetful ones! 👸🏼🤦🏻‍♂️

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    Commentary:
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  • I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, can’t make it to our plans – apparently my transformation into a super organized, punctual being got lost in the mail 📬💁‍♀️ Maybe next week, when I’m a whole new me! 🤷‍♂️😆”