Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs resolutions and commandments when you've got charm and wit? 😏 It's all about living on the edge and breaking the rules with style! 😜🔥 #RebelWithACause"

broken, commandments, failure, humor, irony, Resolutions, self-reflection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

0

2 months ago

apathy, care, humor, indifference, listening, me, sarcasm, wit
I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

0

2 months ago

academy, blame, comedy, culture, doing, entertainment, film, generation, good, humor, humor quote, i, idea, movy, much, nostalgia, police, police academy, pop, pop culture, stuff, stupid, thought, too
Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

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2 months ago

administrative, administrative assistant, application, aspiration, assistant, boy, career, career aspiration, childhood, childhood dream, cover, cover letter, dream, ever, feels, humor, i, job, job application, letter, letters, little, wanted, writing
I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, bed, chicken, humor, i, night, rotisserie, sleep, toss, turn
I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

0

2 months ago

break, conversation, dating, five, guy, guys, heart, heartbreak, humor, i, love, me, relationship, seriously, seriousness, take, talk, wants
A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

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2 months ago

clean, evening, good, hack, house, lights, tidy, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Spotted on Twitch:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Going viral on Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Just shared via Reddit:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Going viral on TikTok:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Seen just now on Slack:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Broadcasted on Threads:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Going viral on YouTube:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨