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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Just landed via TikTok:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Just shared via Twitch:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Making waves on Facebook:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Trending via Telegram:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Making waves on Telegram:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.
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Commentary:
"Repetition is the key to remembering apparently… Wait, what was I saying again? 🤔🔁 #MemoryIssues"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Instagram this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get writer’s block responding to people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just shared via Snapchat:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Shared recently on Slack:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Seen just now on Facebook:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Spotted on Telegram:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Trending via X:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

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