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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Going bananas on X:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Aura is the real business card.

Going viral on Reddit:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Live now on Reddit:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Making waves on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Just landed via Discord:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Repetition is the key to remembering apparently… Wait, what was I saying again? 🤔🔁 #MemoryIssues"

forgetfulness, humor, i, memory, repetition, terrible

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

0

2 months ago

finance, humor, investment, IPO, jar, joke, money, soon, swear, swear jar
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

0

2 months ago

Cairo, culture, dance, Egyptian, humor, i, injury, need, practor, pun, tried, walk
Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

0

4 weeks ago

breakfast, days, dinner, food, freedom, fun, humor, life, lifestyle, live, living, meal, own, terms
What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

0

2 months ago

archaeologist, back, digging, discovery, excavation, hand, humor, joke, looking
I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

0

3 months ago

boyfriend, dating, humor, i, identity, knows, love, man, name, new, nickname, nobody, relationship, saying, secrecy
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

0

2 months ago

butt, Facebook, humor, i, kiss, me, media, power, relationship, restricted, social, social media, unfriended

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

52 shares on X this month:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Just landed via WeChat:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Trending via Slack:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Just shared via Pinterest:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Trending via Reddit:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨