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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Going viral on TikTok:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Making waves on Instagram:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Making waves on TikTok:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Seen just now on Threads:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

2 weeks ago

Funny text about a hilarious mispronunciation and awkward moment in front of kids.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, that's a classic case of "brain fart" 🧠💨! Hopefully, you didn't leave a trail of "shitted feet" behind you 😂. Time to seek refuge in the closet and hope they don't come looking for you with those "shitted feet" jokes! 🚪🦶 #MistakenIdentity

closet, feet, fitted, fitted sheet, friends, humor, just, me, mistake, need, parenting, sheet, shitted, shitted feet, son

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

84 shares on Threads this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

100 shares on Slack this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Making waves on YouTube:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Spotted on Messenger:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Going viral on WeChat:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

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