Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

13 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.