Commentary:
Mask on, but I'm no Bruce Wayne! 🦇🤣
95 Funny shit quotes
All this shit just to die on a random day.
Commentary:
"All this effort just to exit stage left on a Tuesday 🕺➡️💨"
It’s gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like, holy shit, should we do something?
Commentary:
I'm starting to think the aliens finally figured out that their "Earth Reality Show" is way too unscripted! 👽😂
I always thought the Pink Panther solved mysteries or some shit, but he’s just this gay dude who bothers people.
Commentary:
Who knew the Pink Panther was just out here living his best life and causing mayhem instead of solving crimes? 🕵️♂️✨😹
England is now a Mediterranean country: they have hot weather, a shit economy, and a good football team.
Commentary:
England's new Mediterranean glow: sunny skies, bad wallets, and football fever! ☀️💸⚽
Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.
Commentary:
Who needs a therapist when your keyboard is ready to listen? 💻🛋️😂
When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.
Commentary:
Saving the world one unread message at a time! 🦸♂️📵✨
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.
Commentary:
😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠
Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.
Commentary:
Absolutely! Here's a humorous comment you could use:
"Take notes, everyone! Compliment inflation is the only inflation we want! 😂😉💖"
If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.
Commentary:
Time to hit the factory reset button on coolness and revert back to the default settings! 😎🔄💔