Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Shorts should be half the price of pants.
  • My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.
  • I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.
  • Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.
  • Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.
  • I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?