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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Just shared via Twitch:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Just shared via Messenger:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Trending via X:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Just shared via Threads:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Going viral on TikTok:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Witty quote about minimalism and essentials, highlighting humor with a playful tone.
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Commentary:
"Remember, less is often more…unless we're talking about kindness, sleep, or toilet paper! In those cases, bring on the abundance! 🤗💤🧻"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

78 shares on Threads this month:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Trending via Facebook:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Just shared via TikTok:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Trending via Slack:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Seen just now on Slack:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Breaking via X:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

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