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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Milk or be milked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Going viral on TikTok:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Trending via Telegram:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Witty text about 80s kids' tech evolution, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the rollercoaster ride from 'Go Go Gadget' to 'Hasta La Vista, Baby' 🕵️‍♂️💥 Technology really took us on a wild journey that left us all a bit nostalgic and terrified at the same time! 🤖🚀 #80sTechFeels"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

85 shares on X this month:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

41 shares on Facebook this month:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Breaking via Twitch:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

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