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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Going bananas on Slack:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Just landed via Slack:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Going bananas on Slack:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

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Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the rollercoaster ride from 'Go Go Gadget' to 'Hasta La Vista, Baby' 🕵️‍♂️💥 Technology really took us on a wild journey that left us all a bit nostalgic and terrified at the same time! 🤖🚀 #80sTechFeels"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

98 shares on X this month:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,552

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Going bananas on Slack:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Live now on Threads:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Just landed via Instagram:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

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