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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Live now on Discord:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Just shared via YouTube:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Going viral on Facebook:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Just shared via Twitch:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Just landed via TikTok:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Going viral on Telegram:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Going viral on TikTok:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

2 months ago

0

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Gandalf: "Frodo, you must embark on a perilous quest to destroy the One Ring and save Middle-earth."
Frodo: "Sounds great, but can Samwise plant some herbs along the way?" 🧙‍♂️🌱
It seems even the bravest heroes need to make sure their garden is in order before setting off on an epic adventure!

adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

0

2 months ago

activity, babe, book, books, concern, fun, fun activity, okay, reading, relationship, unread, unread book
So many mistakes to make, so little time.

0

2 months ago

decision, humor, irony, life, little, mistake, mistakes, opportunity, procrastination, time
You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, mark, nap, rest, sleep
Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

0

2 months ago

communication, contact, humor, irony, media, misunderstanding, person, social, social media, understand, welcome
You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

0

2 months ago

character, comparison, donkey, funny comparison, having, home, humor, just, kid, kids, know, movie, movie character, parenting, Shrek, talking
You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, exit, humor, joke, sarcasm, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

82 shares on YouTube this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Live now on Twitch:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Trending via Slack:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

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