Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Going viral on WeChat:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Live now on Instagram:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Live now on Threads:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Shared recently on Twitch:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Just shared via Twitch:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about Frodo's unexpected request to bring his gardener on a perilous journey.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Gandalf: "Frodo, you must embark on a perilous quest to destroy the One Ring and save Middle-earth."
Frodo: "Sounds great, but can Samwise plant some herbs along the way?" 🧙‍♂️🌱
It seems even the bravest heroes need to make sure their garden is in order before setting off on an epic adventure!

adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Just landed via Twitch:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Just shared via Telegram:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Making waves on Telegram:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Just shared via Discord:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴