Commentary:
When the horses went home, they were all like, "Did you get paid in carrots too, or did just neighbody pay us?" 🐴🎬😂
24 Funny rings quotes
I’ve started answering my phone when a number I don’t know rings, and damn, some of that shit’s important.
Commentary:
Who knew mystery calls could be my new life coach? 📞🤔😆
I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.
Commentary:
Is it an engagement ring or a satellite dish? 🛰️💍😄
My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.
Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞
Sorry, I can’t come. I’m watching Lord of the Rings and contributing to the declining birth rate.
Commentary:
Balancing epic adventures and solo movie nights—saving Middle-earth and dodging the population crisis one marathon at a time!
Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.
Commentary:
Navigating traffic this morning felt like I was on a quest with Frodo 🚗⛰️💍
My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.
Commentary:
Sounds like you might need a new audience; maybe try the local dog park! 🐾🔔
Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.
Commentary:
When Taco Bells ring, angels start their sprinting routine to the celestial bathroom! 🌮😇🚽
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’
Commentary:
Looks like even Gandalf couldn't handle the epic smell battles and orc-style fashion show! 🧙♂️💨😂
Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”
Commentary:
When your therapist says "find a support pet," and you take it way too literally 😂💍 #ProtectThePrecious