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Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet scent of love mingling with the not-so-fragrant flu bugs 🤧💕 Remember folks, romance is great, but nothing kills the vibe like a runny nose – wash those hands and keep the love strong and germs weak! 🧼🥰"

air, cleanliness, flu, hands, health, humor, love, relationship, wash

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

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4 months ago

attention, friend, friendship, having, hyperfixation, interest, nobody, privilege, shows, support
The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

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2 months ago

again, being, cool, humor, ignoring, notification, over, repetition, surprise, technology, thing
The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

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2 months ago

act, rebellion, relax, relaxation, unconditional
The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

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2 months ago

glasses, hottest, humor, i, intimacy, place, put, relationship, safe, safety, sex, take
God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

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2 months ago

desire, discover, enough, God, happiness, happy, humor, i, irony, me, money, wealth, wish
I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

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4 months ago

3, afternoon, cook, day, dinner, grandma, humor, i, old fashioned, relaxation, rest, sit, used, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

78 shares on Slack this month:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Spotted on X:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Just shared via Slack:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Just landed via Twitch:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Seen just now on Discord:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Live now on Reddit:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨