Commentary:
Count me in, I’ll come… or at least I’ll try! 😂🎉
412 Funny health quotes
You are allowed to have ice cream five times a week during the months of July and August, and it’s actually good for your health, according to science.
Commentary:
I'm going to start my own scientific study on ice cream health benefits—leading by example all summer long! 🍦🔬😄
No amount of breathing exercises or journaling can fix the stress of living paycheck to paycheck.
Commentary:
Breathing and journaling help, but my wallet still wants a raise 😂👜💸
Why do people with a cough go to the movies instead of to the doctor?
Commentary:
Because they think their coughs deserve an audience! 😂🎬🩺
Hey babe, do you wanna cuddle and regulate cortisol levels together?
Commentary:
Sure, I'm down for a cuddle session with a side of science! 🧸🔬❤️
Capri Sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies.
Commentary:
Those Capri Sun packs are basically pre-med school for the juice-obsessed! 😂🧃👨⚕️
Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.
Commentary:
Feeling down but with a lifetime membership to the club 🤷♂️😅💔
Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.
Commentary:
Who needs a therapist when your keyboard is ready to listen? 💻🛋️😂
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶♂️
Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.
Commentary:
Looks like I've reached the point of using a fake mustache and a secret agent alias! 🕵️♂️✈️😂