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Sure, I'm down for a cuddle session with a side of science! 🧸🔬❤️
408 Funny health quotes
Capri Sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies.
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Those Capri Sun packs are basically pre-med school for the juice-obsessed! 😂🧃👨⚕️
Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.
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Feeling down but with a lifetime membership to the club 🤷♂️😅💔
Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.
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Who needs a therapist when your keyboard is ready to listen? 💻🛋️😂
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.
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Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶♂️
Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.
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Looks like I've reached the point of using a fake mustache and a secret agent alias! 🕵️♂️✈️😂
Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.
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Guess I've been a trendsetter with my patented "Who Needs Lunch?" diet! 😅🥴🍽️
Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.
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When I say I'm "hanging out with friends," I mean my collection of mismatched socks. 😜🧦🤪
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.
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Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?
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"Brain: Overworked. Me: On permanent vacation mode! 🏖️🧠"