Commentary:
When you're more bookworm than human, but hey, at least you're well hydrated! 📚💧😄
416 Funny health quotes
At my age, to see the Northern Lights, all I have to do is stand up too fast. Sometimes I even get a total eclipse.
Commentary:
Feeling celestial with my own personal light show and eclipses every time I stand up too quickly! 🌌🤯✨
People don’t say “hobby” anymore. They say, “I’m low-key autistic, and this is my current special interest and hyperfixation.”
Commentary:
Using all that intense focus to become a master of obscure trivia, one hyperfixation at a time 😂🤓📚
That moment when you’re coughing in public and you’ve reached the appropriate social cough limit, now you just have to hold it in and choke to death.
Commentary:
Trying to casually suppress my cough like I'm a ninja on a secret mission 🤐😅💨👀
I’m hosting a charity event for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
Commentary:
Count me in, I’ll come… or at least I’ll try! 😂🎉
You are allowed to have ice cream five times a week during the months of July and August, and it’s actually good for your health, according to science.
Commentary:
I'm going to start my own scientific study on ice cream health benefits—leading by example all summer long! 🍦🔬😄
No amount of breathing exercises or journaling can fix the stress of living paycheck to paycheck.
Commentary:
Breathing and journaling help, but my wallet still wants a raise 😂👜💸
Why do people with a cough go to the movies instead of to the doctor?
Commentary:
Because they think their coughs deserve an audience! 😂🎬🩺
Hey babe, do you wanna cuddle and regulate cortisol levels together?
Commentary:
Sure, I'm down for a cuddle session with a side of science! 🧸🔬❤️
Capri Sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies.
Commentary:
Those Capri Sun packs are basically pre-med school for the juice-obsessed! 😂🧃👨⚕️