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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

45 Funny hands quotes

Funny hands quotes 🤲✨ bring a hilarious twist to everyday gestures, turning simple hand moves into moments of pure comedy! Whether you’re waving hello, giving a thumbs up 👍, or just scratching your head 🤔, these witty sayings add a splash of humor to life’s little actions. Ready to laugh out loud and give your hands some well-deserved spotlight? Let’s dive into the funniest hand moments ever! 😂🙌

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Smoking a cigarette and holding it with both hands.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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