Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Trending via Discord:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Trending via Telegram:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Trending via Facebook:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Going viral on Facebook:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Breaking via Instagram:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Just landed via Slack:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

2 days ago

Witty text about how Mario Kart skills translate to winter driving success.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew dodging banana peels and blue shells would prepare you for slipping on icy roads and navigating snow-covered streets? 🍌❄️ Drive safely out there, and remember – always blame the slippery road, not your unimpressive drifting skills! 🚗💨"

activity, best, driving, fun, gaming, humor, Kart, Mario, training, turned, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

37 shares on X this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I love when the plot thickens.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Just landed via Twitch:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Breaking via Discord:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Live now on WhatsApp:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Live now on X:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

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