73 funny winter quotes - Wordgag

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

May 22, 2026

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

May 22, 2026

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

May 22, 2026

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

May 22, 2026

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

May 22, 2026

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

May 22, 2026

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

May 22, 2026

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

May 22, 2026

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

May 22, 2026

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

May 22, 2026

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

May 22, 2026

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

May 21, 2026

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

May 21, 2026

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

May 21, 2026

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

May 21, 2026

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

May 21, 2026

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

May 21, 2026

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

May 21, 2026

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

May 21, 2026

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

May 21, 2026

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

May 21, 2026

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

May 21, 2026

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

May 20, 2026

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

May 19, 2026

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

May 6, 2026

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Apr 1, 2026

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Apr 1, 2026

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Apr 1, 2026

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Apr 1, 2026

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Apr 1, 2026

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Mar 31, 2026

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Mar 31, 2026

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Mar 30, 2026

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Mar 30, 2026

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Mar 30, 2026

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Mar 28, 2026

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Mar 28, 2026

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Mar 28, 2026