73 funny winter quotes - Wordgag

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

May 29, 2026

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

May 29, 2026

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

May 29, 2026

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

May 29, 2026May 29, 2026

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

May 29, 2026

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

May 29, 2026

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

May 29, 2026

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

May 28, 2026

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

May 28, 2026

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

May 28, 2026

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

May 27, 2026

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

May 27, 2026

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

May 27, 2026

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

May 25, 2026

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

May 25, 2026

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

May 25, 2026

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

May 25, 2026

January is the Monday of the year.

May 25, 2026

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

May 25, 2026

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

May 25, 2026

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

May 25, 2026

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

May 25, 2026

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

May 24, 2026

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

May 24, 2026

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

May 24, 2026

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

May 24, 2026

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

May 24, 2026

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

May 24, 2026

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

May 24, 2026

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

May 24, 2026

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

May 24, 2026

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

May 24, 2026

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

May 24, 2026

Human hibernation should be a thing.

May 24, 2026

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

May 24, 2026

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

May 24, 2026

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

May 24, 2026

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

May 24, 2026

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

May 24, 2026

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

May 24, 2026