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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,853

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Freshly posted on X:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Making waves on Instagram:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Just shared via Reddit:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, I guess toothpicks finally got tired of being your daily chew toy! 🪵😂 #ToothpickRevolution

chew, chewing, day, habit, humor, men, nostalgia, toothpick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

1 month ago
communication, grammar, humor, irony, lessons, media, social, social media, teach, Twitter
Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

1 month ago
always, before, chat, conversation, daydream, even, going, head, humor, i, inner, inner thoughts, internet, introvert, little, mental, mental conversation, mind, self-talk, side, solitude, thoughts
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

1 month ago
brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

1 month ago
competition, contest, cream, dessert, eating, eating contest, humor, hurt, ice, ice cream, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yours
May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

1 month ago
accident, dating, drop, embarrassment, face, funny moment, girls, humor, media, moment, phone, prank, social, social media, texting
Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

1 month ago
better, compare, comparison, confidence, everyone, humor, irony, others, self-esteem, self-reflection, yourself

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Breaking via Instagram:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Live now on Facebook:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Shared recently on Slack:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Going viral on Instagram:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

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Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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