Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Trending via Telegram:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Live now on Pinterest:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Freshly posted on X:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Going viral on Instagram:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

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My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.
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Commentary:
Looks like your husband is working on building things, while you're focusing on building your wardrobe! Talk about a workshop with stylish benefits!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

86 shares on Slack this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Man, these end times are taking forever.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,969

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Just landed via Discord:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Live now on Pinterest:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Just landed via WeChat:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

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