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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 15623 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,814 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 29, 2026

 

 

 

 

86 Funny couple quotes

Funny couple quotes are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of laughter 😂 to your relationship! Whether you’re poking fun at love’s quirks or capturing those adorable moments 🥰, these quotes bring smiles and giggles 🤭 to couples everywhere. Perfect for sharing with your partner or spicing up your social media feed, they highlight the humor and joy that come with being in love ❤️. Dive into the world of witty banter and playful jabs!

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Posted onMay 29, 2026

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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