Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.
  • No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.
  • I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.
  • I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.
  • Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.
  • Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.