15 funny prison quotes - Wordgag

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

May 20, 2026

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

May 20, 2026

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

May 18, 2026

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Apr 1, 2026

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Mar 30, 2026

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Mar 30, 2026

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Mar 30, 2026

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Mar 30, 2026

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Mar 28, 2026

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Mar 28, 2026

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Mar 28, 2026

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Mar 25, 2026

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Mar 25, 2026

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Mar 24, 2026