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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Breaking via WeChat:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Going viral on Threads:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Live now on Threads:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Making waves on TikTok:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

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My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.
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Commentary:
Sounds like your playlist is going through some serious mood swings! 🎶💔🔫 But hey, variety is the spice of life, right? Just make sure it's not influencing your life choices too much! 😉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Instagram this month:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

56 shares on Slack this month:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

86 shares on Discord this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a person for me and me only.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,446

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Just shared via WeChat:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Making waves on Reddit:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Going viral on Reddit:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Trending via Telegram:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

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