37 funny depression quotes - Wordgag

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

May 30, 2026

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

May 30, 2026

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

May 30, 2026

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

May 30, 2026

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

May 30, 2026

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

May 29, 2026

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

May 29, 2026

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

May 29, 2026

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

May 29, 2026

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

May 28, 2026

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

May 28, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

May 28, 2026

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

May 28, 2026

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

May 28, 2026

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

May 28, 2026

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

May 27, 2026

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

May 27, 2026

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

May 26, 2026

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

May 26, 2026

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

May 26, 2026

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

May 26, 2026

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

May 25, 2026

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

May 25, 2026

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

May 24, 2026

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

May 24, 2026

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

May 23, 2026

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

May 21, 2026

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

May 21, 2026

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

May 21, 2026

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

May 21, 2026

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

May 20, 2026

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

May 19, 2026

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

May 19, 2026

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

May 19, 2026

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

May 19, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

May 19, 2026

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

May 19, 2026