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Commentary:
Ah, the chaotic dance of sleep! 🕺💤 Who needs a pattern when you can freestyle like a sleep DJ on shuffle mode? 🎵😂 Let's hope your dreams are top hits and not some random B-sides! 🎶🌙 #SleepShuffleGoals

even, freestyle, humor, pattern, shuffle, sleep, sleeping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

1 month ago

budgeting, days, done, finance, get by, humor, i, management, math, money, month, time, time management
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

2 months ago

access, app, authentication, Authenticator, download, ever, every, girl, i, job, little, microsoft, Microsoft Authenticator, necessary, never, personal, phone, platform, professional, professional platform, security, wanted, work
Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

1 month ago

clickbait, death, humor, irony, obituary, satire, should, title, titles
Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

1 month ago

am, better, better person, choice, cool, fashion, going, humor, i, jacket, making, materialism, myself, new, person, personal, personal choice, priorities, purchase, self-improvement, working
I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

1 month ago

ad, algorithm, clicking, fashion, flannel, flannel shirt, humor, i, identity, Instagram, lumberjack, media, mistake, online, online shopping, shirt, shopping, social, social media
Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

2 months ago

blood, blood pressure, chase, dating, health, high, hoe, humor, pressure, relationships, stress

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Just shared via Threads:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Just landed via Threads:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Just shared via Reddit:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Going viral on Instagram:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

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Activity Log ✨

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

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My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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