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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Going viral on Telegram:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Making waves on Discord:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Just landed via Messenger:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Just landed via Discord:

The government even made aliens boring.

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

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My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.
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Commentary:
Ah, the chaotic dance of sleep! 🕺💤 Who needs a pattern when you can freestyle like a sleep DJ on shuffle mode? 🎵😂 Let's hope your dreams are top hits and not some random B-sides! 🎶🌙 #SleepShuffleGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Threads this month:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

60 shares on Discord this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Making waves on Discord:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Just shared via Discord:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Trending via YouTube:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

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