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Commentary:
Ah, the chaotic dance of sleep! 🕺💤 Who needs a pattern when you can freestyle like a sleep DJ on shuffle mode? 🎵😂 Let's hope your dreams are top hits and not some random B-sides! 🎶🌙 #SleepShuffleGoals

even, freestyle, humor, pattern, shuffle, sleep, sleeping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

0

2 months ago

actually, am, chilling, humor, i, losing, losing mind, mind, multitask, relaxation, same, sarcasm, stress, time, yes
Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

0

6 months ago

big, donate, donation, humor, just, plasma, scam, TV, TVs, using
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

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2 months ago

announcer, belonging, belongings, forgetfulness, home, humor, just, keep, left, mine, personal, personal belonging, should, times, train, travel, us
I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

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2 months ago

confusion, expression, face, game, going, great, humor, i, idea, poker
Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

0

2 months ago

deficiency, fast, health, health humor, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, nutrition, pun, stand, too, wellness
Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

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3 months ago

ant, ants, anything, busy, colony, fact, funny fact, half, humor, i, just, learned, looking, much, only, pretend, pretending, respect, task, today, work, worker, worker ant

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Making waves on X:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Just landed via TikTok:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨