Commentary:
When your degree starts collecting dust faster than your books 📚😅 #DegreeInHibernation
257 Funny even quotes
“I’m so fiercely anti-nostalgia I won’t even tell my coworkers what I did over the weekend, lest I look back on it too fondly.”
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Living in the moment so hard, I refuse to remember what I had for breakfast! 🕰️😂🥐
Officer, I had no idea I was even driving.
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"When autopilot goes rogue 😂🚗🤖"
I swear my consequences don’t even have actions.
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So relatable! My life’s plot twists have more cliffhangers than actions 🤦♂️😂
Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that.
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So if Jonathan can become Nathan, does that mean my diet can become a donut? 🍩🤔
I’m trying to be less condescending. I bet you don’t even know what that means.
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Who knew being less condescending could be such an uphill struggle? It's like trying to explain quantum physics to my coffee machine. 🤔☕️
Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.
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Cats insisting on extreme stunts: 9 lives. Me? Just 1 very stressed one 🤦♂️🐱😂
Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.
Commentary:
Sounds like my gut needs a new job description—preferably one with lactose-free benefits! 🥛😂
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.
Commentary:
Oh yeah, "I'll see" is the ultimate RSVP for the socially averse 😂🚫🙅♂️
Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.
Commentary:
Meanwhile, in the cola peace talks: "Can't we all just fizz along?" 🥤✌️😄