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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

30 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending via Messenger:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Trending via X:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Home » Funny Even Quotes

164 Funny even quotes

Funny even quotes 😂 are the secret spice 🌶️ to life’s grand banquet, reminding us that humor is the universal translator. They twist ordinary wisdom into giggle-inducing gems, making even the most mundane moments sparkle ✨ with wit. Whether you’re looking to sprinkle a little laughter into your day or add a splash of joy to a friend’s timeline, these zingers never fail to deliver a punchline with a wink 😉!

New funny even quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁‍♂️
3 days ago
Share →: It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Commentary:
When your college fees get you a library card, but the internet's like, "Welcome to the dark side, we have PDFs!" 😂📚💻
3 days ago
Share →: Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Commentary:
Spongebob knows who's bikini bottom-approved and who's not! 😂✨🌊 #PureOfHeartAndLaugh
3 days ago
Share →: Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Commentary:
Even after all these years, my tongue and teeth still aren't on speaking terms! 🍽️🤦‍♂️🤣
3 days ago
Share →: I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Commentary:
Trying to find a positive post on the internet these days is like trying to spot a unicorn at a horse show! 🦄📱😅
4 days ago
Share →: No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Commentary:
Lost in my own mystery tour! 🕵️‍♂️🤔✨
4 days ago
Share →: Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Commentary:
Can't blame the guy for having high standards… or just not wanting furry sous chefs! 🐀👨‍🍳🤣
4 days ago
Share →: Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Commentary:
Looks like even Gandalf couldn't handle the epic smell battles and orc-style fashion show! 🧙‍♂️💨😂
5 days ago
Share →: Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
5 days ago
Share →: I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Commentary:
Trying to figure out planet Earth like it's a level 100 escape room! 🌍🧐🚀

For even more funny even quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny even quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

30 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Trending via Pinterest:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Breaking via Messenger:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Spotted on Slack:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

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