Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.
  • Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
  • I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.
  • Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
  • The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.
  • If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.