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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has downloaded:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has viewed:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has shared:

If PokΓ©mon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on X:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Shared recently on X:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Spotted on X:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Home Β» Funny New Quotes

179 Funny new quotes

Funny new quotes capture the excitement, awkwardness, and unexpected chaos that comes with trying something for the first time! πŸ˜‚βœ¨ Whether it’s a new job, a new hobby, or just a new way to embarrass yourself, these quotes remind us that beginnings are rarely perfect β€” but they’re almost always funny. Here’s to fresh starts with a side of laughter! πŸ˜†πŸ†•πŸš€

New funny new quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny new quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny new quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has shared:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has shared:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I said β€œcool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has viewed:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Slack:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Going viral on Messenger:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Spotted on Messenger:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Just landed via Reddit:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Reported on Reddit:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Broadcasted on Slack:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Just landed via WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

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