Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.
  • Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.
  • I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.
  • I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.