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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

27 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Trending via Messenger:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Just shared via Facebook:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Spotted on Facebook:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Home » Funny Financial Quotes

86 Funny financial quotes

Funny financial quotes shine a humorous light on the never-ending struggle between your wallet and your willpower! 😂💸 Whether it’s wondering where your paycheck disappeared to, calling online shopping “stress relief,” or realizing your budget only works in theory, these quotes remind us that money might not grow on trees — but jokes about it sure do! 😆🤑📉

New funny financial quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to start practicing my bat skills, because daylight is getting way too expensive! 🦇💡😅
3 days ago
Share →: I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when five bucks made me feel like a millionaire! 🤑💸
4 days ago
Share →: When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Commentary:
Starting the day with a side of dizziness and a sprinkle of existential dread, served fresh at sunrise! 🍽️🤪💸
4 days ago
Share →: I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Commentary:
Hope you've got your umbrella ready for some cash showers! ☔💸
4 days ago
Share →: Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Commentary:
Trying to return my adulthood for store credit. 🛍️😅📈
5 days ago
Share →: I miss you (the money I spent).

Commentary:
Missing you like my wallet misses its friends: the dollars 💸😂
6 days ago
Share →: Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Commentary:
When the fun gets going, my funds get going… going… gone! 💸😂🤦‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Commentary:
"Forget the Dark Web, can we get a Debt Disappearing Web? 🕸️💸😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"
2 weeks ago
Share →: If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Commentary:
"Identity theft: the only crime where the victims are considering revenge with a side of financial sabotage! 😂💳 #PaybackTime"

For even more funny financial quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny financial quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

27 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Reported on Slack:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Live now on Snapchat:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Broadcasted on Threads:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Breaking via X:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Seen just now on Telegram:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Spotted on TikTok:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

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