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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Trending via Pinterest:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Breaking via Messenger:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Trending via YouTube:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Just shared via Reddit:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sloperator: expertly navigating the art of hitting 'enter' with flair 😂🚀🔧

engineer, humor, job, job title, joke, prompt, prompt engineer, sloperator, title, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

2 weeks ago

class, education, humor, paid, sarcasm, self learning, student, teaching, tuition, university, yourself
Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

2 months ago

boundary, business, humor, just, none, personal, privacy, sarcasm, secret, secrets, sometimes
They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

2 weeks ago

actually, awareness, before, build, cart, etiquette, food, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, least, people, push, sarcasm, shopper, shopping, shopping etiquette, should, spatial, spatial awareness, store
Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

2 months ago

Canada, Canadian, Canadian Thanksgiving, day, every, everything, food, gravy, holiday, humor, put, same, Thanksgiving, tradition, us
If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

2 months ago

assume, assumption, cardigan, enough, fashion, humor, intelligence, irony, people, reading, smart, stop, wear
My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

2 months ago

change, exercise, favorite, fitness, gym, humor, joke, machine, put, snack, snacks, vending, vending machine, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Seen just now on X:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨