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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,820

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Seen just now on Slack:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Going viral on Twitch:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Going viral on WeChat:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sloperator: expertly navigating the art of hitting 'enter' with flair 😂🚀🔧

engineer, humor, job, job title, joke, prompt, prompt engineer, sloperator, title, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

1 month ago

dying, hear, humor, i, just, know, mindset, Monday, motivation, needs, positivity, reassurance, stress, workweek
There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, better, clock, day, freedom, leisure, next, next day, no work, nothing, relaxation, rest, sleep, work
Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

4 months ago

comeback, homeless, homeless man, house, house key, humor, i, insult, interaction, irony, just, key, keys, loser, man, me, social, social interaction
Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

1 month ago

backstory, character, contain, humor, irony, password, security, technology, tragic
The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

1 month ago

acting, humor, lack, me, Pope, religion, wild
Can we not just call it Zealand now?

2 months ago

call, humor, just, suggestion, wordplay, Zealand

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My lips could use some attention today.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Just shared via Facebook:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Live now on Telegram:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Just shared via Twitch:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Spotted on TikTok:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Live now on Facebook:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

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No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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