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Commentary:
"Maybe we should bring back the 'send annoying people to the sun' policy for some eco-friendly decluttering 😂🚀 Less pollution on earth, more space in the universe! Time to launch a few rockets – adios, annoying Earthlings! 👋🌞"

annoying, annoying people, Earth, funny observation, humor, left, nobody, observation, people, shoot, sun

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Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

1 month ago

before, change, commentary, humor, idiot, internet, only, people, perspective, social, social commentary, technology, thought, town, wrong
The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

1 month ago

Christmas, disrespect, disrespectful, expectation, finance, holiday, humor, me, money, right, sarcasm, shopping, spending
As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

2 months ago

clerk, customer, everything, humor, interaction, leave, people, retail, sales, sales clerk, shout, store, sure, touch, want
The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

2 months ago

amazing, body, brain, coffee, emergency, emergency power, eye, half-open, half-open eye, human, human body, power
Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

1 month ago

c-section, clever, clever wordplay, escape, escape room, humor, i, joke, me, medical, medical humor, rescue, room, someone, take, wordplay
I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

1 month ago

backfield, football, giggle, humor, i, immature, just, maniac, me, much, penetration, sports, too, watch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Breaking via TikTok:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Just landed via Reddit:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Spotted on Reddit:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Just landed via Discord:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

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Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

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Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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