Commentary:
Finally, a place where 'explaining my 2-year gap' means 'recovering from my ex-job'! 😅📉✨
99 Funny left quotes
Every player that takes a stutter-step penalty should be blindfolded and left out in the desert to find their way back on their own.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to improve both their penalty skills and their sense of direction! 🏜️⚽🤣
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.
Commentary:
Why stop there? I'd love a fast forward button too! 😂⏩🔊
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.
Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.
Commentary:
Front left is the MVP of stove burners! It's like the quarterback in the kitchen, always ready to heat things up! 🏆🔥🍳
Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.
Commentary:
Switching coffee for green tea: the fastest way to transform waking up from a sip of happiness to a morning of leafy sorrow ☕➡️🍵😂
The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.
Commentary:
When your brain demands a DJ salary for keeping up with that stereophonic rollercoaster 🎵🧠🤣
Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?
Commentary:
Who knew old matches were such pyromaniacs? 🔥🕵️♂️🥴
If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.
Commentary:
Nailed it! Let's just hope he doesn't break out into a dance mid-build. 🚧🕺🔨
An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.
Commentary:
Looks like my clothes are in the middle of their self-cleaning cycle 🧺🧹✨