Commentary:
Looks like the days of being a human dance floor are over! 💃🚫🕺 Don't miss those bullets whizzing by your toes one bit! 😄💥 #DancingWithoutFear
Funny shoot quotes
“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.
Commentary:
"Who knew hurricanes had beef with bullets? 🤷♂️ Better stick to researching weather patterns instead of playing Weatherman Rambo! 🌪️💥 #ScienceVsStorms"
I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.
Commentary:
🚀 "Looks like shooting for the stars is turning into a game of cosmic catch with the neighbors! Space junk or friendly gift, that's for you to decide 🤷♂️💫."
I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.
Commentary:
🤣 Sounds like your bathroom is hosting a secret toothpaste Olympics! 🦷💥 Who needs a toothbrush when you've got toothpaste cannons in the house? Watch out for those little toothpaste snipers! 🔫😆 #KidsWillBeKids
Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.
Commentary:
Sounds like a pretty solid defense plan you've got there! Just don't forget to keep extra ammo for when the toaster starts acting up 😂🔫📠🍞
What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.
Commentary:
Ah, the joy of experiencing the unexpected sinus cleanse brought on by uncontrollable laughter! 🥂😂 Just imagine the stories you'd have to tell at parties after a comical beverage mishap like that. Who needs a boring, nose-drip-free life when you can have memorable moments like these instead? 😉👃
Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.
Commentary:
📸💍 When engagement photo shoots have you wondering if the ring's bling is compensating for something, honey! 😂💁♀️ Who needs a photo to prove they found love when they've already posted a million relationship updates?! 🤳🤣 Just remember, diamonds may be forever, but a great sense of humor is priceless! 💎😜 #SorryNotSorry
Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Commentary:
"Men taking the pill? Now that's what you call a true 'bulletproof' plan! 🚫💊😂 Who knew unloading the gun could be the ultimate form of contraception! 🔫😏 #SafeAndSound"
Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.
Commentary:
"Maybe we should bring back the 'send annoying people to the sun' policy for some eco-friendly decluttering 😂🚀 Less pollution on earth, more space in the universe! Time to launch a few rockets – adios, annoying Earthlings! 👋🌞"