Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Trending via TikTok:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Just landed via Discord:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Just landed via Facebook:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Trending via Instagram:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I found a parking spot right by the entrance, I felt like the chosen one foretold by the ancient prophecy! 🔮🚗✨

fate, humor, just, normalize, oracle, prediction, saying, superstition, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

2 months ago

amazing, announcer, competition, deduction, ever, gymnast, humor, i, life, oh, Olympic, point, point deduction, seen, sports, thing
“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

2 months ago

dating, funniness, happiness, happy, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, stopped, thanks
From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

2 months ago

done, got, guest, guests, hard, home, hospitality, house, housekeeping, humor, i, joke, just, mess, messy, prank, tell, visit
Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

2 months ago

advice, big, change, decades, doctor, drinking, going, health, humor, i, long-term, me, routine, sobriety, stop
I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

2 months ago

big, cake, celebration, eating, family, friends, groom, humor, i, just, me, self-indulgence, small, solo, want, wedding
This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

3 months ago

heathen, humor, invisible, joke, only, post

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The shitshow must go on.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

87 shares on X this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

56 shares on Threads this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Trending via Instagram:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Freshly posted on X:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Going viral on YouTube:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Trending via Reddit:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Just shared via Reddit:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Live now on TikTok:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨