22 funny prediction quotes - Wordgag

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

May 26, 2026

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

May 26, 2026

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

May 25, 2026

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

May 25, 2026

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

May 24, 2026

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

May 22, 2026

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

May 22, 2026

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

May 22, 2026

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

May 22, 2026

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

May 21, 2026

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

May 19, 2026

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

May 19, 2026

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

May 18, 2026

Pattern recognition so good I can see into the future.

May 18, 2026

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

May 6, 2026

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Apr 1, 2026

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Mar 31, 2026

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Mar 31, 2026

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Mar 30, 2026

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Mar 30, 2026

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Mar 30, 2026

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Mar 30, 2026